Thursday, August 6, 2020

Not long ago, while walking down the street, I witnessed a driver struggling to park in a very tight space. The only available spot was wedged between two already-parked cars, and it seemed nearly impossible to maneuver into it given how narrow the gap was. As the driver reversed, it was clear—even from a distance—that the car would soon collide with the one behind it. And sure enough, it did.

What struck me wasn’t just the minor collision, but the driver’s reaction: as if nothing had happened, they continued adjusting their position and eventually forced the car into the spot. Without leaving a note or contacting the owner of the other vehicle, they simply walked away.

To an onlooker, this might seem baffling—“Why would someone cause a fender bender and just leave without saying anything?” But after living in Europe for several years, I’ve come to realize that this type of scene is not particularly unusual. Minor scratches or dents don’t carry the same significance here as they often do elsewhere. Most cars already show signs of wear, and a small additional scratch is generally not seen as a serious matter.

This experience led me to a broader insight: in many parts of Europe, people don’t seem overly concerned about the exterior condition of their cars. Unlike in Korea—where even a slight blemish can cause anxiety—here, it’s rare to see people fretting over cosmetic imperfections. As a result, many vehicles appear old or neglected, simply because their owners don’t feel the need to maintain a pristine appearance. And given the scarcity of newly released models on the road, it’s likely that many of these cars really are several years old.

This indifference to appearances extends beyond cars. On hot summer days, while we might take elaborate precautions to avoid sun damage, it’s not uncommon here to see people casually lying on the grass under the blazing sun. Unsurprisingly, their faces and arms often show freckles, sunspots, or pigmentation—marks that many Koreans would rush to a dermatologist to treat. But here, such features are seen as natural traits, not flaws needing correction.

Why Do We Place So Much Emphasis on Appearances?

Criticizing someone’s looks is, in my experience, something surprisingly common in Korea—yet nearly unthinkable in many other countries, where it’s viewed as both rude and unacceptable. This preoccupation with appearances extends to possessions as well. For example, a minor scratch on a car in Korea might lead someone to replace the entire bumper. I also recall carrying a phone with a cracked screen and receiving a flood of unsolicited comments—not out of concern for safety, but because the damage made the phone look unsightly.

Why Do We Judge People Based on What We See?

I once neglected to wash my car for a few weeks due to a hectic schedule. When I finally met a friend while driving it, their remark stayed with me: “The cleanliness of a car reflects the owner’s sense of self-discipline.” It was a subtle reproach—less about the car and more about me. It illustrated how we often evaluate people based on appearances, not substance.

In such a context, when someone doesn’t meet widely accepted beauty standards, they may begin to internalize feelings of inadequacy. It’s no surprise, then, that South Korea ranks among the highest in the world for cosmetic surgery—a reflection, perhaps, of this cultural mindset.

The Need for Freedom from Appearances

This raises an important question: Are we overly defined by how others perceive us? When we rely more on external approval than internal confidence, we risk losing our true selves. It creates a paradox—while we may feel comforted by social acceptance, as individuals, we may feel increasingly insecure.

This brings me to the belief that what we truly need is a form of personal individualism—not selfishness or egotism, but a deliberate and thoughtful affirmation of one’s own identity.

This kind of individualism means:

• Being free from the constraints of appearance-based judgment
• Defining one’s identity through personal values and perspectives
• Resisting the pressure to follow the crowd simply because “everyone else is doing it”
• Walking one’s own path, guided by internal convictions rather than external validation

True Freedom Lies Beyond Appearances

Many people act as though there is a single “right” way to live, and those who deviate from that standard are seen as “wrong.” But life doesn’t offer a singular answer—only a range of valid responses. We must stop viewing differences as defects and begin recognizing them as diverse perspectives.

By adopting this mindset, we can cultivate a deeper sense of self-worth, liberated from superficial standards. In doing so, we begin to live out our own outlook—in the truest sense of the word: a person’s point of view or general attitude toward life.

And that is how we reclaim the freedom to live authentically.

Thursday, August 6, 2020 @ Lleida, Spain

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